Reflection of my poly life so far

Being able to get into TP was kinda a miracle for me, since I was not considered a hardworking type and was very very very lazy.

So, now after spending almost 2 years in TP, I am now still struggling with my school work, projects and stuff... Failing almost 2 to 3 subjects every end of semester and ending up with more work then my peers...

But miraculously, every single sem i pass the must-pass-because-its-2nd-time modules and proceed onto the next semester barely alive.

Now I really feel like giving up. I don't think I can make it through this semester without failing some subjects which I can't fail.. and if I do fail them, I would have to appeal to the school for a "last" chance. By that time, I can't even fail one single module. If not I would be dropped out of TP....

SHAGISM ):

If I do pass / make it through this semester, I will and I must discipline myself to study harder then before! If i pass.....

If not, I would be going into the army for National Service soon, without a diploma. What I really want to do is to save up enough money to enter Lasalle or NAFA to do courses related to art.

If not x 2 , I would be signing up to become a regular in the army, or sign some bond **** with SAF to study and work in the army at the same time. Some friends are doing that already.....

Life seems to be going nowhere for me...